A Hole in the World Read online

  ‘Topher, stop encouraging your sister,’ Julia warns from the end of the table. She looks across at Bianca. ‘We won’t always be able to stop them pressing charges,’ she tells her. ‘We don’t want you to end up in jail.’

  ‘I didn’t do it!’ Bianca exclaims, throwing her hands up. ‘How many times do I have to say that before you believe me?’

  Bryan glares at her. ‘Don’t talk to your mother like that.’

  ‘Dad, I’m sorry,’ Bianca says, ‘but I didn’t do it. And she won’t believe me!’

  ‘Who’s ‘she’? And it’s not that we don’t believe you, it’s more that the evidence points right at you! You did keep telling us how much you hated it there, after all...’

  ‘I did, Dad,’ Bianca says, plaintively. ‘But not enough to set fire to a library.’

  ‘I wish you’d liked it more, Bianca,’ he says. ‘It cost me such a lot to send you there.’

  ‘Us,’ Julia coughs around her cup of tea.

  Bianca and her father ignore her. ‘I think I’ll do better at The Lodge, though, Dad. St. Mary’s wasn’t a good learning environment for me.’

  Her father sighs. ‘As long as you don’t burn any more schools down,’ he mutters.

  ‘It was the library!’ Julia and Bianca exclaim at the same time.

  Topher looks up from his food after a moment and says, quietly, ‘If I burn my school down, can I not get in trouble, too, Dad?’

  *

  The phone beeps at two in the morning and wakes Bianca. She groans to herself, wishing death upon whomever texted her, and reaches out of bed. When she sees who texted her, she immediately retracts her wishes of death. Scotty.

  Welcome home. Missed u. Come see me again 2mo. We’ll hang out. xx

  She smiles at the text and quickly writes Scotty back.

  Dont hold ur breath, still in dog house. Might b grounded dunno yet. Txt u tomorrow. U woke me. Go to bed!xxxxxxx

  She hits send and checks her inbox. There’s another text.

  I’ll explain it was me. You shouldnt get the blame for my mistake. We’ll talk soon. A. x

  Bianca sighs. She doesn’t want Angela to explain it was her. She doesn’t want to have her expulsion retracted and have to go back there. She wants to stay at home, with Scotty just down the street and a whole new school to make friends in.

  Even if it does mean dealing with her parents and Topher every day.

  Dont. Its fine. Im home + happy. U LIKE SM’s dont screw it up. Im glad to be out of there and didnt get in trouble. Leave it. Talk to u soon.x

  She rereads the text to Angela a couple of times before she sends it, wanting to make sure she was as vehement about her desire not to be sent away again as humanly possible in a hundred and forty characters.

  She yawns and sits up in bed, flicking on the light and looking around the room she’s missed so very much. There are posters on the walls, a few of random boy bands, a couple of female musicians, a few of TV shows and movies she was a fan of before she left four years ago. There’s a cork board by the door, onto which she’s pinned dozens of photos of her and Scotty and her and other friends; friends she’d made in primary school and lost when she moved to high school.

  She sighs and considers taking those pictures down. Scotty’s the only one she’s friends with these days, the others long moved on from her, finding making new friends in high school easy and leaving her behind easier still.

  Bianca stands up, moving out from under her duvet, climbing off her bed and walking across to the board. Five minutes later, every picture that doesn’t have Scotty in has been ripped cleanly away from the board, leaving the little pins and empty patches of cork behind.

  New start. Beginning now.

  Three

  Bianca’s rucksack is heavy, weighed down with school books and lunch. This is something she hasn’t missed; carrying a heavy bag all the way to school every day, but she has Scotty walking by her side with a big grin on his face, so, as far as she’s concerned, it’s a necessary evil.

  Scotty’s babbling about the people he’s made friends with, gesticulating wildly and almost skipping along beside her as he talks. ‘You’ll meet Cory, too. You’ll like him! He’s a laugh. He’ll probably try and hug you when he first meets you, though, so don’t be surprised.’

  She gives him a shocked look and he laughs. ‘It’s fine! It’s just his way! He likes making new friends and you’re the kind of person he likes. Lewis, though... He’ll go in for a grope if he thinks you’re hot. And you’re totally his type, so you’ll be lucky if your boobs aren’t sore by the end of the day.’

  She pulls her blazer closed over her chest and glowers at him. ‘I don’t think I like your friends,’ she mutters. Four years at a girls’ school has left her unaccustomed to modern boys and their ways.

  ‘Lies, all lies. You’ll love them all,’ Scotty tells her, firmly. ‘Except Lewis, maybe. And Daisy. But no one likes her, anyway. Well, ‘cept Cory...’ He laughs as they turn the corner. ‘Just kidding,’ he says, ‘Daisy’s awesome. Dresses and talks like a slag, doesn’t act like it, though. She’s great.’

  Bianca stops in her tracks and pauses. Scotty’s voice fades out as he starts to talk about the teachers and she turns slowly to look at the wall by her side. The hole is still there, bigger than she remembers. It’s big enough for a girl her size to climb through with room to spare, which is strange, considering it was only just big enough for her when she was little. She wonders, for a moment, what it would take to climb up the wall and into the hole. She wants to. She really, really wants to. She’s not sure why she wants to, but the desire is definitely there.

  ‘Bianca? Earth to Bianca? Hello?’ Scotty waves a hand in front of her face and she refocuses, turning to look at him. ‘Geez, you were out of it!’ he exclaims. ‘What’s up?’

  ‘Just... that.’ She points at the hole in the wall. ‘I climbed in there once... A long time ago.’

  ‘So? It’s just a hole. It’s always been there.’ He picks up a stone from the road and tosses it in through the opening. ‘Nothing special.’

  ‘No, but... it went on forever. When I went in there... there were tunnels and there was a girl screaming.’

  ‘Are ya sure you didn’t dream it?’ Scotty says, with a raised eyebrow. ‘Seems like something you’d dream. I know what your subconscious is like!’

  She shakes her head, ignoring the jab at an incident years before. ‘No. No, I didn’t dream it... It was real. It just happened a long time ago...’

  Scotty checks his watch. ‘Biancs, as much as I like and have missed your random trips into insanity, we should go before we miss form. You don’t want to be late, do you?’

  ‘No,’ she says, distractedly. ‘No, I don’t want to be late...’

  ‘C’mon then.’ He grabs her by the wrist, towing her off down the street before she can argue or resist. ‘We can have a look at your hole on the way home if you want.’

  There’s a pause, a beat in which what he said sinks in as the two of them laugh, and then they’re both laughing, the immature hilarity carrying them all the way to school.

  *

  ‘So, is it true you burned down the school gym like Buffy?’

  Bianca looks up at Cory, a shaggy haired brunette boy sitting opposite her in form, the same boy who hugged her like crazy upon her arrival, announced she felt like his best friend he’d heard so much about her and then turned to Scotty and hugged him until they had to go into form and sit down. ‘No, it was the library and I didn’t do it, anyway.’

  He looks horribly disappointed. ‘So, you’re not a vampire-killing cheerleader?’

  ‘I’m neither a vampire slayer nor a cheerleader, no. I’m just a normal girl who didn’t even burn down the library. I’m nothing special. Can we move on now?’

  Lewis, a tall ginger kid, is eyeing her across the table. She meets his gaze with a steely glare that doesn’t at all deter him. ‘You don’t look like an arsonist,’ he says, slowly, appraising her.


  ‘Gee, how kind of you to say so,’ Bianca replies, coolly.

  ‘Come on, Yanks, make an effort,’ Scotty says, from beside her. ‘These guys are my friends and they could be your friends, too, if you tried hard enough.’

  She sighs. ‘Fine.’ She looks at Cory. ‘My friend Angela is the one who burned down the library. I was in bed at the time. I’m sorry to disappoint you. She just... used my lighter. So, everyone thought it was me.’

  ‘Oh. You should get some kind of CSI guy in to prove it wasn’t you.’ He nods at her. ‘Then you could go back.’

  ‘She’s not ever going back, Cory,’ Scotty says, quickly. ‘So, don’t even suggest that. It’s a dumb, dumb, dumb idea.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  The teacher walks in at that moment, preventing Bianca from basking in the love of her best friend and Lewis from saying anything more. Instead, everyone falls silent as the teacher shuffles her papers and says, ‘I hear we have a new student today.’ She smiles warmly across at Bianca. ‘Would you like to stand up and introduce yourself?’

  Bianca sighs and stands up. ‘I’m Bianca. I’ve been going to a girl’s boarding school since I turned eleven. I got expelled for burning down the library, but I didn’t do it. Anyone who calls me ‘Buffy’ will be taken outside and shot by my best friend.’ She gestures at Scotty, who takes this cue to stand up and bow at the class. The teacher glares at Bianca, lips pursed.

  Bianca just grins at her new classmates, some of whom are chuckling, while the others seem to be considering the best way of bullying her into submission, and sits back down, perfectly synced with Scotty.

  ‘Thank you, Bianca,’ the teacher says with a sigh. She holds up the register. ‘Register time, everyone. So stay quiet and answer when your name is called.’

  *

  ‘How’s your maths, Bianca?’ Mister Sands, a young, handsome maths teacher asks, once everyone else has started their work.

  ‘About as good as my German,’ Bianca replies, with a smile, ‘which I cannot speak.’

  The teacher laughs. ‘Well,’ he says, with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes, ‘lucky for you, I can do both!’

  She laughs back, he grins and Scotty rolls his eyes.

  ‘Oh, brother,’ he says, as Sands retreats.

  ‘What?’ Bianca hisses at him.

  ‘Mister Sands has a bit of a reputation,’ Cory explains, from across the table. ‘I’ve heard he slept with Alicia, Lauren, Georgia... and Oliver!’

  Bianca raises an eyebrow. ‘Oliver?’

  ‘Okay, he might not have slept with Oli, come to think of it. Oli tells a lot of stories... but the rest are all facts!’

  ‘Okay, so?’ Bianca shrugs. ‘I’m not going to sleep with him and if the rest of them were all consenting... I don’t much care.’

  Cory sighs and looks at Scotty. ‘Mate, your girlfriend sucks at being a gossip.’

  ‘I’m not his girlfriend!’ Bianca exclaims.

  ‘Could you have said that any faster?’ Scotty mutters.

  ‘Oh. Sorry.’ She pulls a face. ‘It’s just... you’re my best friend. That’s it... I don’t... it... when...’ She trails off and grimaces. ‘I’m sorry. I should just shut up.’

  Scotty shrugs. ‘I thought your boarding school was meant to teach you better than our school?’

  ‘So you’d think,’ Bianca mutters. ‘But, my D in maths will prove otherwise.’

  ‘I was referring to diplomacy.’

  ‘I knew that.’

  *

  ‘So, are you ever going to brave your childhood memories?’ Scotty asks, as he and Bianca walk home from school, his bag slung over one shoulder, hers on his other. She looked tired, so he offered to hold her bag for her. Somehow, this resulted in him carrying it all the way home, but he doesn’t mind. He’s just glad to have her back.

  He gestures at the wall as they walk past. ‘The hole, I mean. Your whole spooky dream thing.’

  Bianca shrugs. ‘I dunno. I rather like the idea that whatever’s through there is amazing... some kind of Faraway Tree or something. If I go through, I’ll probably just find some old house and get kidnapped and raped by some creepy old guy.’ She shudders. ‘So, maybe not.’

  Scotty snorts. ‘I somehow doubt you’ll get kidnapped and raped by an old guy, but whatever floats your boat, Biancs.’ He walks over to the hole and looks at it. ‘It looks pretty normal to me,’ he says.

  ‘I know... it looks normal. It does to me, too. But I know it isn’t.’ She shakes her head and walks slowly towards it. ‘I dream about it sometimes,’ she says, quietly. ‘Sometimes’ is an understatement, really. It’s always been there, calling to her.

  ‘That’s normal,’ Scotty mutters.

  She sighs, pushing her short hair off her face. ‘I should probably just... leave it. Come on.’ She turns to go, but he stops her with a hand on her arm.

  ‘I’ll come with you, if you want? Assuming we don’t both get trapped inside small tunnels and have to beg some fireman for help, I don’t see there being a problem with it.’

  ‘No, leave it. Really, Scotty. Leave it be, okay?’ She swallows. ‘I’m just... not ready yet.’

  He shrugs. ‘Okay, fine.’ He doesn’t take his hand off her arm, instead tightening his grip and using it to lead her away, towards her house. ‘But, if you go in there alone and get into trouble, I’ll laugh at you.’

  ‘You’re such a good friend.’ She gives him a strange cross between a pout and a glare, and trails after him as he finally releases her.

  ‘So, did you enjoy your first day?’

  She nods. ‘Yeah. Your friends... they’re not too bad. I guess I had better ones back at St Mary’s but...’ She shrugs.

  ‘Ha.’ Scotty rolls his eyes. ‘Are these the same friends that got you framed for arson and that you couldn’t wait to leave?’

  ‘No.’ She glowers darkly at him. ‘These are friends that I used to hang out with at lunch. Plus, my dorm mates. Leslie, Sash and Donna. They were nice. We got on really well. You kinda have to when you eat, sleep and shower together.’

  ‘You’ll get on well with my friends, too,’ Scotty promises, thankfully letting the showering slide. ‘Just give them a chance, okay?’

  ‘All your friends are boys. I’m not used to being friends with any boys,’ Bianca points out, as they start to walk up their road.

  Scotty coughs pointedly.

  ‘Well, okay. Any boys except my best most manly most boy-like amazing guy friend in the entire world, okay?’ She grins at him and he laughs.

  ‘Okay. Although... Daisy isn’t a boy.’ He lets her bag slide down his arm and passes it to her. ‘Here ya go.’

  ‘I haven’t met Daisy yet,’ she points out as she takes the bag. ‘Thanks.’ She slings it over her shoulder and reaches over to kiss him on the cheek. ‘I’ve missed you, Scotts.’

  ‘I’ve missed you too.’ He yawns and pushes open the gate to his house. ‘See you tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Love ya.’ She smiles at him, offering him a little wave as she heads down the road, away from his house and towards her own.

  Only another four days of school left until the weekend...

  Four

  She’s standing by the wall, just staring at it. It seems to shimmer and glow slightly, enticing her with colour and feelings of warmth and longing, but the hole itself is dark.

  There aren’t any cars going by on the road behind her. It’s just Bianca and the hole, alone in the middle of what feels like nowhere. Nothing more and nothing less.

  Silent and enticing.

  She takes a breath and reaches out, touching the jagged brick. Her fingers snag against the rough edges and she pulls her fingers back to check they’re not cut. There’s no blood, so she reaches out again.

  The hole is big enough for her to climb into, she can tell that by looking at it but it’s not just that. She feels it inside her chest; it’s big enough for her. It always will be.

  But does she really want to climb
inside? Does she?

  ‘Help me!’ a female voice screams. The voice is familiar, like she’s heard it before. She has; in every dream set around this hole and so many years before in reality. ‘Help me, please!’

  ‘Hello?’ Bianca shouts, looking around, trying to find the owner of the voice outside the hole. ‘Is someone there?’

  ‘Help me!’ the voice yells again. ‘Please help me! It’s dark in here and I’m frightened!’

  Bianca turns back around. The voice is coming from the hole. She knows that. ‘Are you in there?’

  ‘Bianca!’

  Bianca’s eyes widen. ‘Am I meant to rescue you? Is that it?’

  ‘Bianca!’

  ‘How do you know my name?’

  ‘Bianca!’

  ‘Bianca, wake up!’

  Bianca opens her eyes slowly and looks up at Topher, who’s currently leaning over her bed, eyes wide as he stares down at her. It takes her a moment before she realises he has a glass of water in his hand, condensation slipping down the outside.

  ‘What the hell are you doing, you little maggot?’ Bianca shoves him away, scrambling up into a sitting position. Topher stumbles backwards, the glass slipping, drops of water spilling down the front of his trousers.

  ‘Bianca!’ he shouts, angrily. ‘Now I look like I’ve weed myself!’

  ‘Good, I always told Mum you weren’t past that stage yet. Maybe she’ll put you back into nappies!’ Bianca glares at him. ‘What are you doing in here?’

  ‘Mum says you need to get up now.’

  Bianca looks across at the clock. ‘It’s seven in the morning. On a Saturday,’ she whines. ‘Can’t I sleep in?’

  ‘Mum says you can come back to bed, but she wants you up for breakfast.’

  Bianca sighs and fists a hand in her hair. Five days a week, her mother never rouses early enough for breakfast. The one day Bianca doesn’t want her to, she does. ‘Why are you so annoying?’ she snaps at Topher, but really it’s aimed at her family in general. ‘Couldn’t you have told Mum to do her own dirty work?’

  ‘No,’ he says, giving her a wide-eyed look. ‘Mum said if I ever talked back at her like that again, I wouldn’t make it through a second ten years.’